Many times a day, almost everyday, I think to myself “How did I get here?” Meaning, how did I decided to open a business and think that was a good idea. Yes, I know you are all thinking, “Another post about the studio?” And I have this to say, you’re damn right.
I’m glad that I was raised by people who encouraged me to embrace experiences and use them as a means to become a better, more thoughtful human. Being a business owner is hard. It’s hard to not take everything personally. Why has that student never returned? Are other businesses taking public jabs at us or I am just being paranoid? Am I making the right decisions for my students and teachers? The questions never end. The struggle between dwelling on these mostly unanswerable questions and just letting it all go takes up a good chunk of my daily routine. Usually I am smart enough to take a deep breath and a step back so I can appreciate how far our little studio has come in three very short months. Usually I am smart enough to remember that we have just opened and barely scratched the surface of our potential to be an influential and successful studio. It’s not just about the bottom line and making money. That is obviously important, otherwise we would not be able to remain open. But what I most deeply care about and strive to achieve is ensuring that each student that walks through our door feels comfortable, peaceful, and has an experience which allows them to delve deeper into their own self.
If someone is able to open their own eyes to all of the growth lessons life hurls at them, they are very lucky. And man am I getting a ton of opportunities. Vacillating between the swirling fears of inadequacy and staying rooted in confidence and faith in myself and our business is tantamount to jumping in and out of Lake Michigan on a winter day. But, like I said, I am fortunate to have been taught to seize these moments of chaos and hysterical blindness and transform them into calm and lucidness. Sometimes it feels easier to fall into the depths of self-doubt but if I were to submit to those feelings only the studio, Scott and me would suffer. The valuable examples of my parents and mentors provide a much needed life raft in these situations.
Scott and I joke that we had a baby this year. I am here to tell you that is what it has felt like from the beginning! We nurtured the studio idea from conception, fed the obscure mass with plans and decisions, birthed the space at 7005 N Glenwood, and finally are constantly tending to the growth and maturation of our little guy. And it requires beaucoups of awareness to comprehend that each baby, or studio rather (lest I digress into my allegory any further), is unique. And let’s be frank, not everyone is going to like your baby. Crap! I can’t get away from the analogy. Moving on.
It takes a lot of balls to do what we did and the response has been overwhelming from our friends, families, and neighborhood. So there is that. One reason I love yoga is that it teaches me to embrace patience and compassion. Not only towards myself, but what is happening around me. I am one of those people that needs to be reminded that we can’t always perform at our peak. Sometimes we need gentleness. I hope that I can continue to espouse these tendencies of grace and acceptance, even if it takes me a while to get there.